Fooled you! Special sorry to my cleave-happy, shield-wielding, edgelord players out there- I know you were expecting to have your turn in the spotlight. All I can say is keep polishing your plateware because your moment of glory is well on its way.

Well, that is after we pay homage to those unsung heroes who don knives and forks instead of axes and blades.

That’s right, my friends! Put on your aprons and pick out a fine selection of well-aged cheeses because we’re putting together a charcuterie board of some tasty culinarian glams! While their job may be to prepare delectable bites of stat-increasing goodness, there’s no reason culinarians can’t look as tantalizingly delicious themselves.

Have a seat and browse the menu at your leisure. The sommelier will be along shortly to explain the wine pairings as we go along. Bon appétit!

We begin our glam-dining experience with a bit of Omakase. Throw all cares to the wind as our sushi chef concocts anything his heart desires, all while dressed in some of the finest crafting robes this game has ever seen.

Some of the eastern themed glamours we’ve gotten this expansion have been nothing short of exquisite, and the Onishi Dogi definitely feeds into that. The delicate folds in the fabric and the multi-dimensional layering that’s happening with this piece is something that FFXIV gear designers do exceptionally well and helps bring life to what could’ve easily just been a flat robe.

I wanted something just as texturally interesting, yet with minimal adornment details for the hat. All three culinarian specific hats have fairly similar construction, yet both the level 50 and 60 versions boast un-dyeable ribbons along the rim. The Galleykings Toque, however, is completely dyeable. While it is nice to have that pop of an accent color, sometimes it can lock you into certain color combinations. For this look I wanted a more subtle blend into the colors of the robe- which this hat was perfect for.

A slightly earthy pairing for a very neutral-toned glamour. This long legged beaut can hold her own in the kitchen line and can produce a perfect sear every time! This glamour is well done, but I promise your entree is not. After all, “well done” is a sinful way to eat steak and has no place in this fine dining establishment!

Love the aesthetic of typical cooking hats, yet dislike how the class-specific ones in the game tend to defy the laws of gravity? Don’t forget to browse all those long forgotten delights of the “All Class” variety! Leveling gear may be relatively simple, but hats like the Felt Beret are like a deflated version of the Galleymaster’s Toque! I specifically wanted a hat with a bit less volume, since both the Culinarian’s Mitts and Culinarian’s Gaiters had a more rounded, full look to them. Much like with our diets- moderation is key. If I use too many full-bodied items our gal would be looking more like a puff pastry and less like the chef that she is.

What could be more sweet and bubbly than a Lalafell? Nothing! Let these darling popotoes serve as a constant reminder that our glams don’t always have to be serious- they can be colorful and fun as well! Having a scarf that stays vibrantly yellow on the Culinarian’s Apron inspired me to go equally bold by dyeing the rest of the top that rich, Royal Purple.

Fun fact- I’m a bit of a Spriggan fan. I would’ve way more preferred a Spriggan beast tribe than Moogle anyday. I bring this up because as I was building this glamour, when I dyed the top as such, it instantly made me think of them. Using the Spriggan Cap became a must, and I mimicked their tiny dark legs by using the Scion Adventurer’s Bottoms. Thus my Spriggan chef was born- and all the world rejoiced! Well maybe not all the world, but I sure as heck did.

Perhaps you aren’t a cook at all, you don’t have the darndest idea what to do with a leg of lamb and have the worst time trying to make sure your souffle doesn’t sink! But damn do you make a mean French 75.

This is a very simple glam that was very much inspired by modern day speakeasy and piano bars; which is a scene I’ve been digging very much lately. It’s a look that feels so classic, effortless, and timeless…. And makes me feel like if I’m ever craving a sweet Bee’s Knees this is the guy who could make it perfectly while also serving some charming, smooth-talking banter.

Our mixologist pairs numerous level 1 items such as the Classic Spectacles, Anemos Suspenders, and Dinosaur Shoes to make this glam seem both casual and debonair. The real key to this look, however, is the Galleyking’s Trousers. I absolutely adore the half apron attached to this classy pair of slacks. It really feeds into the idea that this is a suave cat who works behind the bar and has quick access to tools he’d need to pop open caps on any drink you’d desire.

Perhaps you feel like not knowing how to prepare lamb is a shameful thing- especially when you are the head chef of a five-star Eorzean restaurant. Adventurers have to make reservations months in advance and beg for the honor to have a seat at one of your highly exclusive tables. It is only right that you, yourself, look just as divine as the dishes you prepare for your guests!

This look is very French chef inspired. By that I mean the Culinarian’s Trousers reminded me of the pants worn by the chef from The Little Mermaid and I just spiraled from there. Inspiration is everywhere, guys! For pants like this I typically favor pairing ankle height or shorter shoes such as the Highhouse Halfboots– just because you don’t want to lose that quaint ribbon detailing around the calf.

Of all the culinarian specific tops- the Galleyking’s Apron is the most sleek and modern looking. I wanted to keep it crisp and clean looking without falling back into the white/black/red color scheme that I’ve used for the other glamours. Light blues are good for this- especially on the top. The jacket portion, when dyed pastel blue, still retains a cool, white undertone that maintains brightness while the apron turns really deep and rich. Extra bonus points for pulling in the blue color of the ribbon from the pants!

It doesn’t matter if at the end of the day you’re just going to be covered in grease stains or splotched with pasta sauce. A good glam is always the key ingredient to every high quality recipe; even way more important than salt! Now finish those drink pairings- the bill will be out shortly. Oh, and don’t forget to tip your waiter…. I mean, writer.