So, let’s start off by addressing the Marid in the room. Shadowbringers is right around the corner. I know that as the seconds tick down to the expansion release, it’s hard to concentrate on other things like tasks at work, chores around the house, or writing certain website articles… let alone running all over Hydaelyn after side quests and F.A.T.E.S. and the odd achievement. But after more than a decade of playing MMOs, I’ve come to find that there are two kinds of players on the eve of a new expansion: those who started prepping their character(s) as soon as it was announced and those who have not started to do so with barely a week to go for Early Access. While I still wish those procrastinators the best luck in the world, this article isn’t for them. (Get to work, you slackers!) It’s directed at those of you who are already all set for launch day. Those of you who prepared so thoroughly that you’re left with nothing to do and are actually bored waiting for it. Here’s a little something to keep you busy in the meantime.

The Step Dance is a fun little dance that’s all about the fancy footwork with next to no upper body movement. While not as stately as some or as flashy as others, you’d be hard pressed to find a dance more appropriate for a night out drinking with your Static, Hunt Train, or circle of RP friends. Since you’re pretty much stationary throughout the whole emote loop, it’s perfect for hopping up on the nearest table to show off your moves without any awkward air floating. The side quest that unlocks the emote is “Good For What Ales You” from Dodozan in Limsa Lominsa’s Lower Decks. It’s one of those hidden little gems that help to make FFXIV so special. I know some players just skip all the dialogue and text except the part that tells you where to go and what to do, but me? I like to laugh. So this quest was right up my alley. I won’t say any more because I don’t want to spoil it for those of you who enjoy the storytelling. Because sometimes (or a lot of times in this particular game) the story is its own reward. Though of course, it’s still nice to get cute little dance emotes for your troubles!

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Six years ago she was the hardest boss in the entire game. She’s appeared in a total of four titles of the Final Fantasy franchise since her debut in Final Fantasy V way back in 1992 (you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth). Over the span of the last twenty seven years she has embodied some of the toughest mobs and bosses in the series. And now, with one achievement, you can have a Twintiana of your very own (travel sized, for your convenience!). Clockwork Twintania is chibi-ized version of the one you have to defeat in Turn 5, right down to her cool spinning collar. While only a single achievement, “Challenge Accepted”, is required to obtain her, that doesn’t tell the whole story. Completing said achievement involves successfully working your way through all twenty four stages of the Verminion Challenge. Verminion is one of the many mini games available at the Gold Saucer. (You would be forgiven for already forgetting about as it’s one of the less popular attractions ever released.)

Unlike a lot of the other mini-games, there’s no quest to unlock it. Once the Gold Saucer is open to you, all you have to do to participate is get yourself over to the Minion Square. Even though you can now queue for Lord of Verminion via the Duty Finder, the Challenge can only be done by the gaming interfaces in the casino. You need to own at least three minions in order to play the game, but to complete the achievement you are likely to need many, many more. There are several excellent guides out there to walk you through accomplishing the Challenge, so I won’t get in to the technical side of things (which would make this article way too long, anyway) but I will leave you with this parting bit of advice: Get yourself a Wind-Up Gentleman. Not only is he incredibly dapper, he’ll be one of your biggest assets on your journey to getting your Clockwork Twintania.

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“Behemoth” evokes a certain image in your head. Big. Huge. Ginormous, maybe even? Well what about the smallest behemoth in the game? It’s a bit of an oxymoron, I admit, but an awfully cute one. And it’s not the Baby Behemoth or even the charmingly outfitted Behemoth Heir. Think even tinier. Tiny and delicate enough to dangle from your person. That’s right, my last reward for this month is the adorable accessory, the Behemoth Earring. No, that’s not a typo either, it’s just one earring; singular. I guess SE felt that two of these little guys would just be too much cute for one player to handle. To get this miniscule giant, all you have to do is complete the F.A.T.E. “We Fought A Dzu”. Easier said than done, though; like most of the F.A.T.E.s I cover here, the titular ‘Dzu-Teh’ is a boss. This of course means that this fight will require at least a full party of players. He spawns in the valley area of Red Rim, just west of Falcon’s Nest in Coerthas Western Highlands. Once he spawns, you have thirty minutes to form a group, find him, and beat him with a gold participation level to get your reward. Like all these F.A.T.E. bosses, this level 51 yeti spawns adds and spits AoEs, so stay on your toes and apply the basic full party practices and you should have your teeny purple colossus in no time!

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Well, that’s all I’ve got for you this time. When we meet again, there’ll be a whole new world of side quests, achievements, and F.A.T.E.s to explore. I can’t wait to find and share them with you!